three months is a lot of time to waste
thinking about a face
that doesn't smile when it hears your name
I've been pondering a while about space
how many hours
of staring at my ceiling
have I embraced?
I keep expecting it to fall like I do
and smother me
the way I smothered you

but i think it's time to let fresh air in
to feel myself defrost
as the winter turns into spring
and not think of you
when I notice the flowers blooming

and it might be comforting to think
it was just the timing
just the hours between us
just the clock in your kitchen
holding it's arms out to keep us apart
i think
i think a lot about things
like had your dog been named for the sun
would you have been the one
to crave me

but i think it's time to let fresh air in
to feel myself defrost
as the winter turns into spring
and not think of you
when I notice the flowers blooming

and how can I claim to know you at all
when we've not even
spent two hours in a phone call
and I don't mean all at once
I mean across the length of it all
and who was i to fly hours to hold your face
convince myself it worked
like i found myself in your embrace
maybe we can try again
when there's not so much time and space
between us

but i think it's time to let fresh air in
to feel myself defrost
as the winter turns into spring
and not think of you
when I notice the flowers blooming